Diary of a Chronically Single Girl

Dear Diary,

Today’s a big week in my world. Christopher Nolan’s Oppenhemier and Greta Gerwig’s Barbie both arrive in cinemas this Friday. To celebrate, I thought I’d write a bit about one of my guilty pleasures: going to the movies by myself.

I suppose this habit started in college when I was the arts and entertainment editor for the school newspaper. The paper would pay for me to go see movies at the nearby art theater pretty regularly. I certainly could have invited friends to join me, but because it was on the paper’s dime, I usually just went alone.

At first, it was a bit intimidating. I’d hand my single ticket to the attendant and feel the pity in their eyes, imagined or not. But once I took my seat and the lights dimmed, the theater became an equalizer of sorts. Even if you’re there with a big group, your attention is on the screen, not each other. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or what you’re eating or who you’re with. Everyone is there for the same reason: to enter the world on the screen.

After college, the habit only continued, especially right after the pandemic when I was newly graduated and living back in my hometown. I lacked the community I so cherished as a student and was feeling the effects of loneliness. Even so, the prospect of making friends was daunting in the aftermath of Covid. In the moments when I felt most overwhelmed by isolation, the movies provided an unexpected reprieve. It allows you to be around people without the stress of directly interacting with them. I loved that watching a movie in a packed theater creates a sense of community, as ephemeral as it is.

I am certainly in a better place now in terms of having a community, but I continue to love going to the movies alone. There’s an emotional freedom that it affords me. I’m free to let the magic of movies affect me however I want without judgment or embarrassment. Did I cry while watching The Little Mermaid for the fifth time? Yep, I sure did (special shoutout to my AMC membership for that one :).

I still love sharing the experience of the movies with friends and family, but I think I will always enjoy the ritual of going by myself. Being perpetually single means that sometimes you take a chance on doing something by yourself and find that it becomes empowering. This week especially, I choose to be thankful for that.

xo,

Chronically Single